Shame on you, Maury

Know what sucks? Maury used to have a pretty interesting show until it became all about paternity results. I mean I know there are a lot of whores out there who can't figure out who the father of their baby is, but is there seriously nothing else he can talk about? Montel and Oprah seem to be having an easier time. You know, I used to watch Maury and enjoy the show. What happened to all the episodes that featured transvestites and the audience had to guess their original? Or what about teenage delinquents who were dragged out to boot camp and came out crying like the day they were born? Now the titles went from "Extreme Makeovers" to " After 11 Tries, Have I Finally Found the Father of My Baby?" On the subject of girls who can't keep their legs closed, why do they feel like they have to advertise their sluttiness on national television? How can you not be so embarassed after six tries of the Maury show (and still failing to find the biological father of your baby) and decide to return for a seventh? How fast do these people make the rounds?

It hurts me to see the show that was once a source of such great laughs spiral out of control and become one that is a source of such great pity.

Like, what?

Know what sucks? Actually, I should ask, know who should be shot? People, especially girls, who say "like" repeatedly in a sentence. First, I must clarify what constitutes the right way of sayng "like" and that is when stating similarities, such as; "He looked like a drag queen." That is acceptable...but I think everyone knows what I mean by the unacceptable way to say "like". I'm talking about using the word at least six times in a sentence. Among people like this, I have seen those who use the word right before a pause to indicate that they're thinking of an appropriate word to explain themselves, such as: "So when I went to go see him, he was like...kind of distraught over the situation" and then there are the people who should be thrown into a school in London to re-learn the English language..people who speak like this: "And like when I asked him like why he said all those things about me, like all he could do was look away from me and I was like, 'Joe why did you tell everybody that if like you didn't even know what what you were talking about....like like." I'm not thinking of only myself when i say that hearing people speak like this is irritating, I'm also concerned for them as people because they sound completely uneducated and are diminishing their chances of gaining respect as adults. Who wants to hire someone in public relations who says, "and like what we're planning to do is kind of like create a place where like people can totally unwind.." God, shut up...

Smoke

Know what sucks? When people just INSIST on smoking beside you...I'll admit this problem has been better ever since it has been made illegal to smoke indoors in Montreal. But why is there a growing problem of people smoking closer to you when you're outside? I think they resent the fact that every time they need a smoke, they have to stick themselves in -40 degree weather. I don't think many people can refute that. We took away the only thing (apart from that sweet cancer) that made them happy..the ability to kill themselves indoors where it's warm. What gets to me most is that they can't even put effort into making themselves seem subtle. For example, at the Henri Bourassa bus terminus, I noticed on more than one occasion, people pacing as they wait for a bus, and only when they step into a line do they decide to take out a goddamn cigarette and smoke it inches from your face. This next point could be something else due to my bad luck, but they always position themselves so that the breeze carries the smoke in the direction where it will bother the most people. Is it too hard to exhale with your head pointed upwards?!

And here's something even better..because it CAN get even better. Last April, I went to a rock concert where, naturally, people will smoke up. I was lucky enough to be sitting beside a middle-aged man who brought his 10-year-old-looking son with him. I thought i was safe from having pot smoke blown in my face since I had a father on side of me and my group of friends (who didn't smoke) on the other. Halfway through the concert, though, I noticed this strong stench of pot and looked over to find this father smoking a joint right next to his son. Seriously, what the hell is that?! This role model parent was trying to be good to his son by turning away from him and blowing it in MY face instead! If I was a middle-aged man myself and not an eighteen-year-old girl, I think I would have ripped out his intestine and strangeled him with it. At this point, it isn't just the fact that he was blowing smoke in my face, but he had a son old enough to recognize what a joint looks like, and when he looks up and sees his father smoking one and acting as if it's perfectly fine, what direction does that lead the little boy in? Prick...

Smoke

Know what sucks? When people just INSIST on smoking beside you...I'll admit this problem has been better ever since it has been made illegal to smoke indoors in Montreal. But why is there a growing problem of people smoking closer to you when you're outside? I think they resent the fact that every time they need a smoke, they have to stick themselves in -40 degree weather. I don't think many people can refute that. We took away the only thing (apart from that sweet cancer) that made them happy..the ability to kill themselves indoors where it's warm. What gets to me most is that they can't even put effort into making themselves seem subtle. For example, at the Henri Bourassa bus terminus, I noticed on more than one occasion, people pacing as they wait for a bus, and only when they step into a line do they decide to take out a goddamn cigarette and smoke it inches from your face. This next point could be something else due to my bad luck, but they always position themselves so that the breeze carries the smoke in the direction where it will bother the most people. Is it too hard to exhale with your head pointed upwards?!

And here's something even better..because it CAN get even better. Last April, I went to a rock concert where, naturally, people will smoke up. I was lucky enough to be sitting beside a middle-aged man who brought his 10-year-old-looking son with him. I thought i was safe from having pot smoke blown in my face since I had a father on side of me and my group of friends (who didn't smoke) on the other. Halfway through the concert, though, I noticed this strong stench of pot and looked over to find this father smoking a joint right next to his son. Seriously, what the hell is that?! This role model parent was trying to be good to his son by turning away from him and blowing it in MY face instead! If I was a middle-aged man myself and not an eighteen-year-old girl, I think I would have ripped out his intestine and strangeled him with it. At this point, it isn't just the fact that he was blowing smoke in my face, but he had a son old enough to recognize what a joint looks like, and when he looks up and sees his father smoking one and acting as if it's perfectly fine, what direction does that lead the little boy in? Prick...

Sunday walkers

Know what sucks? When you need to get somewhere in a hurry and always find yourself behind someone travelling incredibly slowly. Either I'm ALWAYS following slow people or I just never notice it when I'm not in a hurry. But I think people can tell when I need to get somewhere fast. It never happens when you have three hours to kill. But it always happens when you have three minutes to get to your next class and you're not even in the right building. What really pisses me off though is how slow walkers feel the need to spread out as they venture through the halls. They always walk side-by-side, at least four of them together, ensureing that no matter how incredibly thin you are, you don't have a chance in hell to squeeze between. I swear, school hallways should be divided into lanes, even if only two. One lane for the painfully slow, and one lane for people like me who have 1 minute to jet to class. Also, to help enforce the rules, the Vanier College security guards shoud act as police and put letters in the files of students caught walking too slowly in the fast lane.

Just a thought...

Early birds

Know what sucks? When people talk on their phones too fucking loudly on the bus! When you're on a quiet bus, you shouldn't feel the need to compete with the noises around you...because there aren't any! Pricks. I especially resent the girls. I was on the bus once (at 7:15 in the morning) and heard this loud high-pitched voice over my music (OVER MY MUSIC!!), which I always play at full blast. I turned it down to see what the deal was and heard this girl talking on her phone to a friend of hers, but obnoxiously loud. What was even worse than the noice level of her speech, was the actual content of it. I caught on to something like this: "Yeah and so my mom, like, just came in my room and started, like, going through my shit on the computer...well yeah I left it opened cuz I didn't think she'd be such a fucking skank and like look through it ...and like she just started fucking interrogating me! And I told her 'Ma, stop being such a fucking bitch!' I swear, like, she's such a bitch I'm going to fucking lose it!" ...If I ever called my mom a bitch, I would not have enough mobility in my arms to hold up a phone to my ear so that I could tell my friend. And it weren't for the fact that it was still 7:15 and I only gain full energy at 10:00, I would have made been sure to drive her phone down her throat. Even now when I see her in the halls, I think about the opportunity I had to better the community, which I let slip away.

...

I think I seem to be focusing less "people" I hate rather than "things." I think I should've called this blog People Who Should Be Shot...

Losing self-esteem over hair

Know what sucks? Losing your hair when you're a sixteen-year-old girl. I know this first hand and if you don't, it sucks HAAAAAARD, trust me on it. Not only are girls usually not the ones to lose hair but especially not at that age. To top it all off, we live in a time where your looks are everything. If you're a girl with long flowing blonde hair, they'll think one way about you. If you're a girl with half a head of hair, they'll think quite differently. i never realized that it isn't terribly uncommon for women to lose their hair, but at my age and my pace, it was pretty uncommon. i began to lose my hair in large amounts following the death of my grandfather. It began slowly but got out of hand very quickly. By the time I finally found help, I lost half my head of hair and was too afraid to even touch my head. I consider myself lucky because I caught my problem just in time. My excessive hair loss doesn't show very much because of how curly my hair is and because of how short I keep it.

It sucks because it ruins everything for you. Apart form losing hair, I lost my Thursday nights to hair treatments at the doctors, I lost my fruity-smelling shampoos, I lost the right to wash my hair in hot water, I lost half of my length of hair (since you need to have a full head of hair to pull off long hair). What hurts most is having lost confidence in myself. Towards the beginning of high school, I wasn't blessed with great looks, but I put effort into making a change. I lost weight, took my braces off, changed my style and got gorgeous glasses that suited my face. I finally felt happy with the way I looked until I realized that I was losing more hair in the shower than I had all of my life. That confidence that took years to gain took weeks to diminish. Writing this is actually making me emotional. It sucks when you actually cry over how disgusted you feel about yourself. It's a horrible feeling to not be able to like yourself for who you really are because in the end, it's what you're stuck with so you're better off making peace. I wish I could take advice as well as i give it.

Babble babble bitch bitch

Know what sucks? When girls don't know how to not be condescending. This is so common that I'm starting to doubt myself and think that I'm the one who's doing something wrong. What do girls accomplish by being egotistic. I don't understand because every time I encounter a girl like this, she's 1) always unsightlty and 2) ALWAYS stupid. So if you ain't got the personality, the looks or the brains, honey you're not worth onther people even looking at, let alone listening to so go home and introduce your painkillers to Mr.Jack Daniels.

What do snobby girls have that they must feel proud of? Their looks? It isn't called beautiful when you only look good after layering an inch of make up on your face. Their boyfriends? It's not love when he's only into you because your legs spread all over town. Their personality? Wait, no... And I won't even get started on their smarts. That best be saved for another blog.

Fogies

Know what sucks? People who have staring problems...obvious ones. These are people who are simply bad at being people. "Losers at the game of life." What kind of people raised them and told them that it's okay for a 45-year-old man to straight-up check out a 12-year-old girl? Those people should be shot as well. I had an experience like this myself when I was about 13 or 14. I was standing on the bus going home and noticed a man staring at me. He wasn't sitting with his body facing my direction so when he veered his head around completely to look at me, it was oncomfortably obvious. And since it isn't bad enough to stare at a girl thats about 1/3 of your age, I got an extra treat. I had the pleasure of seeing him check me out and shoot me some I'm-a-psychopath-serial-rapist smile. It's slightly comforting to know that not everyone is a freak in this world. I was lucky to have a cute boy notice what was going on. I know this because he kept looking back and forth between myself and psycho. Once he caught on, he moved so that where he stood blocked the man's view of me.



I still think that all the freaks in this world outweigh the people who are sane by my standards.

A Wonderful Christmas Time

Know what sucks? Getting underwear for Christmas sucks. Why do people do that? No...why do so many people do that? I think I might actually prefer getting nothing at all for Christmas rather than getting something as distressing as underwear. The problem is that they're never nice underwear. As a girl, there is a significant difference between underwear that our parents think is nice and underwear that I, as a nineteen-year-old, think is nice. Nice as a young adult means sexy. It means lace, silk, any-color-but-white-and-if-its-white-it-better-manage-to-look-sexy.

Imagine the awkwardness she'll feel as she's opening a pair of tighty-whities in front of her older brother; it's embarassing. I've been there, many times! Tighty-whities are not nice. They belong on a ten-year-old's body, but when your child transitions into adolescence, if you want to buy underwear, bring her to La Senza or Jacob Lingerie and let her pick something out or herself. Gone are the days when she liked having princesses on her ass. Now, what she wants is men on her ass and she won't lure them in with Barbie underwear. (And that's another thing, why must there be character's on a child's underwear? Who is supposed to see these characters when mommy and daddy aren't there?!)

Undies and other things like socks and deodorant, for example, are necessities. Unless you're giving to the poor, one doesn't normally buy necessities for others. One gives something that the reciever would enjoy but wouldn't buy for themselves. So what I'm getting at is that giving undergarments for Christmas shouldn't even be done because the gift of embarrassment isn't worth giving.

The sweat on the bus goes drip, drip, drip!

Know what sucks? People who smell on the bus. Know what sucks even more? People who smell on the bus and they're wearing sleeveless shirts. Know what sucks even more than that.. (and yes something sucks more than that) ...people who smell on the bus and wear sleveless shirts during a HEATWAVE!! I think paying for car insurance and gas alone makes not riding on the bus worth it for that reason alone. Because they always sit next to you. They never sit beside other melodorous people so they can wallow in each other's company. I think they'd ought to have their own designated section of the bus to themselves. Seriously though. Like the back of the bus. I say create an entrance at the back specifically for people who smell like BO, rancid milk, shit and curry. That way they can get on the bus, sit in it, and get off of it, all without having to walk by us normies who shower regularly. It wouldn't be AS BAD if the smell lingered only for the time that you were on the bus, but you tend to notice stenches following you around. It gets in your hair and your clothes and you adopt their smell. The last thing i need is for people to tell ME that i need my own entrance at the back of the bus!